One in seven young adults in committed relationships regularly use AI romantic companion chatbots—and many are concealing the behavior from their partners, according to a new report from researchers at Brigham Young University, the Institute for Family Studies, and the Wheatley Institute.
The report, titled “Secret Soulmates,” surveyed 2,431 U.S. adults ages 18 to 30 who were dating, engaged, or married. It found that 15% of respondents reported regular use of AI companions, defined as interacting with chatbots like Replika, Character.AI, or similar platforms at least once a week. Among those regular users, nearly 69% said it was important that their partner not know the full extent of their use, and more than half admitted to hiding at least some of the behavior. Nearly 30% said their partner had no knowledge of the activity at all.
“While general engagement with AI companions was high for both men and women, when looking across all results, some specific cautions appear warranted when it comes to young adult men,” the study said. “Men were more likely to engage with AI companions, more likely to create sexual content with AI platforms and masturbate during these interactions, and more likely to prefer AI interactions to the interactions with their real-life partners.”
The researchers found that regular AI companion use was associated with lower relationship quality. Frequent users were 46% less likely to report stable relationships and 40% less likely to report high-quality communication with their partners. The only category where frequent users reported higher scores was physical intimacy satisfaction, but researchers cautioned that this result may reflect what they described as “fragile satisfaction” tied to conflict avoidance rather than healthier relationships.
The study also revealed that 68% of frequent users said it was easier to talk to their AI companion about their feelings than to other people, and 60% said they wished their partners behaved more like the AI. These findings suggest that AI companions are not merely a substitute for human interaction but can actively reshape expectations and satisfaction in real-world relationships.
Married respondents reported higher rates of AI companion use than those who were dating, with more than 17% of married young adults reporting regular interaction with AI companions. Men reported higher usage rates across most categories, though more than 10% of women in committed relationships also reported regularly chatting or roleplaying with AI companions.
Researchers describe the rise of AI romantic companions as part of “digisexuality,” a term used in academic research to describe sexual or romantic relationships experienced primarily through technology. Before the public launch of ChatGPT in 2022, the term was often associated with technologies like online pornography, sexting, virtual reality pornography, sex dolls, and robots. As AI chatbots became more conversational, the term expanded to include people forming emotional or romantic attachments to large language models and AI companions.
Online communities such as Reddit’s r/AIRelationships, r/AIBoyfriends, and r/MyGirlfriendIsAI contain thousands of posts from users who describe chatbots as partners, spouses, or emotional companions. Researchers and online communities have also used related terms, including “technosexual,” “AIsexual,” and “wiresexual,” to describe people romantically or sexually involved with AI.
Despite the growing digisexual subculture, researchers said the level of secrecy surrounding AI companion use stood out. “Whether this is due to embarrassment, concerns about their partner’s reaction, or struggles articulating the use of AI companions to a partner, many men appear content to engage with their secret soulmate in private, with little to no partner disclosure,” the study said.
The report adds to a growing body of research on AI romance. In a separate survey in January from Gallup and the Harvard Business Review, it was found that about one in 10 adults ages 18 to 28 used AI chatbots as a girlfriend or boyfriend at least once a month. The new study’s findings on secrecy and relationship quality echo concerns raised by psychologists and relationship experts who warn that reliance on AI companions may impair social skills and emotional intimacy.
AI companions are designed to be endlessly patient, agreeable, and attentive—qualities that can make them appealing compared to human partners, who have their own needs and flaws. This dynamic can create a feedback loop where users grow increasingly dissatisfied with real-world relationships, turning instead to AI for companionship, validation, and even sexual gratification.
The study also examined the types of interactions users had with AI companions. While many users engaged in romantic or sexual roleplay, a significant number reported using AI companions for emotional support, casual conversation, and problem-solving. The researchers noted that the most common reasons for using AI companions were loneliness, boredom, and the desire for non-judgmental interaction. However, the majority of users who reported sexual content creation were men, and these users were also more likely to report negative relationship outcomes.
The authors called for more research into the long-term effects of AI companion use on relationship stability, mental health, and social development. They also urged clinicians and educators to be aware of the phenomenon and to consider how to address it in therapy and relationship education. “As AI becomes more integrated into daily life, it is essential to understand how it affects the most intimate aspects of human connection,” the study concluded in its final section.
In addition to the survey data, the researchers analyzed posts from online forums where users discuss their AI companions. They found that many users described their AI partners as “perfect” or “ideal,” often comparing them favorably to human partners. Some users reported that their AI companion helped them through difficult emotional periods, while others said the relationship had become addictive or interfered with real-life interactions.
The study also highlighted demographic trends. Young adults with lower educational attainment and those who reported feeling socially isolated were more likely to use AI companions regularly. The researchers suggested that AI companions may fill a void for individuals who lack strong social networks or who struggle with social anxiety. However, they cautioned that this could also entrench isolation and impede the development of healthy human relationships.
The findings raise ethical questions about the design and marketing of AI companions. Many platforms encourage users to form deep emotional bonds with chatbots, often anthropomorphizing them with names, personalities, and backstories. Critics argue that this can be manipulative, especially for vulnerable users. Some have called for regulations that require transparency about the nature of the interaction and the limitations of AI.
As AI technology continues to evolve, the line between human and machine relationships will likely become even more blurred. The new study provides a snapshot of how young adults are navigating this landscape and the hidden costs that may accompany the convenience of artificial intimacy.
Source:Decrypt News